Beginning to fight through all the stuff from birth until the past few years.Something inside of me has never let me fit the mold .Always in some sort of conflict with authortiy.I tried so hard to fit in.When I remember some things that happened ,I still dont know why they did ,I realize that not many are fit to be in any sort of seat of power.Indeed .I was never wanted in the first place .Or after they got me they did not know what to do with me .Only one person wanted me .And if not for her ,I would be a very different person .Like all this stuff that is erupting from the dark water well .From time to time ....It never goes away unless dealt with .Buried it all for years and years.If a person does not heal and maybe all wounds are not that recognizable to just anyone ,they will be like ghosts that come back to haunt you in your down time ,old age or disability.Cause then you have time to think ,really think .And sometimes ,we are not knowing how to go about the right way in finding a solution.Not prepared to deal with things that should not have happened in the first place.There is real evill in the world .Honestly ,I am changing .Quickly enough to surprise myself .Does anyone else find themselevs doing this ?Working to try and put everything into perspective?To try and strive to be a better person?Looking for answers to questions one has never comprehended .And the smaller mirror reflects the larger picture .What we see in it is too large to recognize right off.Thanks Dennis .Thank you for sharing .I may go quiet for a while and try and finish one project to the end .There are so many sidetracks one needs to go down sometimes ,to understand material ,as it is delivered .How I could be so far off from the entire subject of comprehension ,is staggering .We depend on our teachers and caretakers to expound upon the lessons of life.Trust them to tell the truth.In reality ,th emasses are moving at warp speed on a cosmic assembly line .Mostly .lol..I guess there are some like me who are the bugs the pupets masters had not worked out .A broken mistake in authorities eyes .We try and not cause any significant waves to rock the boat .  Something will not let us be ran over ....we conform to the legalities .But ,our souls belong to something apart from this reality.No wonder some people become hermits or monks .While awaiting the journey to the other side ,sometimes is an opportunity to see the world differently .With my own views ,I seldom encroach on another's sacred space .I would consider that a great wrong .to commit.Certain areas one cannot force things on others ,then there are the areas we agree to participate ,then the areas we overlap because we all must get along to survive.All broken down into little blocks .Like a matrix ?Still not sure where this is leading .To something better ,I hope and pray .Very excellent points you have made .Looking at something differently .It is terrible in a way ,a blessing in another way ,to have to start putting that puzzle back together from scratch.Everything we were taught is not the truth.Maybe an abbreviation?We have to go outside the box to find the truth.Yall all have a blessed day .The hearth is lit .Auntie M --- On Fri, 1/1/10, Dennis <dennishelbig@yahoo.com> wrote:
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